|
|
Counselors' Corner
Learn to Appreciate the Little Things in Life By Archibald D. Hart Some fifteen years ago, I wrote a book about happiness. It's the one book I love more than any I have written! My thesis for the book was simple: happiness is a healthy habit of the mind. Conversely, unhappiness is a bad habit of the mind. There is a lot of unhappiness around us. Just stand on any street corner of any city in any country and observe the faces of those passing by. They are unhappy faces. Very few are smiling. Very few have anything to smile about. Some may be laughing, but Solomon saw through that a long time ago: "Even in laughter the heart is sorrowful" (Proverbs 14:13). Why are so many so unhappy? There are some who have every reason to be unhappy. They are hungry, helpless and homeless, or suffer from some terrible malady. But that's not the plight of the majority of my readers here. Most of you, I am sure, have every reason to be happy. Full stomachs, a modicum of success, and a few people who love us. We don't really experience real suffering, and if we are honest, must confess we earn enough to get by on, especially when we compare it with most of the rest of the world. So, why then are we so unhappy - generally speaking? Perhaps you've never stopped to assess your level of happiness. I must confess, months go by and I don't think about it. And then suddenly I sit up and notice my feelings, and what do I find? I'm not very happy. And even though we put a lot of store on having "the joy of the Lord" in our souls, in practical terms this joy doesn't seem to always translate easily into the practical, down-to-earth experience of bread and butter happiness. And the reason isn't always obvious; but somewhere, we've let some bad 'unhappiness habit' creep into our daily existence. Building a solid foundation for a healthy happiness habit, therefore, is serious business. If you don't work at it, it eludes you. You have to root out unhappy habits, like being ungrateful, self-preoccupied, or never counting your blessings, just as you root out weeds to build a beautiful garden. An important happiness principle. The point of my happiness book was to highlight some key principles that help to build happier habits for your mind. One of those principles is worth mentioning here: Happiness is appreciating the little things in life. I have a minister friend who can out-preach anyone I know. He is charming and charismatic, a dynamic go-getter. But a sudden heart attack one day literally knocked him flat. In the weeks following his by-pass surgery, he had a lot to think about. He realized that the "big" issues of his life weren't making him happy--in fact, they were killing him. While he started his ministry very excited, he wasn't content anymore. Recuperating, he would sit in his back yard under the warm sun. Then he noticed something that he had never seen before: there were birds in his back garden. Many of them. All sorts of birds. He had never realized that he had nature's aviary right outside his back door. Every morning he would excitedly take up a position in his comfortable chair to observe and listen to "his" birds. He watched them building nests, foraging for food to feed their young, and, yes, just being happy little creatures. What Jesus had said about "the birds of the air who did not worry about what they would eat or drink," took on new meaning. And then one day he sat up and realized that something had happened deep within his own soul: he was happy again. Enjoy the little things of life. Pay careful attention to this very important message: happiness is seldom found in the "big" things of life, but it is guaranteed in the little things. It is the simple blessings of life that give real pleasure. If we do not notice the birds in our garden, or the whiff of orange blossoms, or the laughter of little children, we cannot expect happiness. God never designed 'big projects' or great achievements to be the sole, or even the primary source, of our happiness. These demand too much of us; leach too much life from our souls. Our adrenaline-driven activities may excite us, but their power to make us happy is short lived, as every adrenaline junky will confess. No, it is in the little things that we will find deep, abiding contentment. And it is the whisper of contentment, not the hurricane of thrills, that builds true happiness - the real joy of life that comes to us in God. So, my advice to you is this: play with your children (and grandchildren) more, take in the friendly glances of strangers, smell the fresh fragrance of the first summer rains upon the earth, watch a few more birds, and take more walks at sunset. These are all "little things" with enormous potential for happiness. And they are free and always available! Permission for Copyright given by the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC) and Christian Counseling Resources, Inc. (CCR), P.O. Box 739, Forest, VA 24551 on January 29, 2004.
A
Father's Love His name was Brian, and he was a student at the small high school I
attended. Brian was a special education student who was constantly searching
for love and attention, but it usually came for the wrong reasons. Students
who wanted to have some "fun" would ask, "Brian, are you the
Incredible Hulk?" He would then run down the halls roaring and flexing.
He was the joke of the school and was "entertainment" for those who
watched. Brian, who was looking for acceptance, didn't realize that they were
laughing at him and not with him. One day I couldn't take it anymore. I told
the other students that I had had enough of their game and to knock it off.
"Aw, come on, Mike! We are just having fun. Who do you think you
are anyway?"
When I meditated on the word GUIDANCE, I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word. I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing. When two people try to lead, nothing feels right. The movement doesn't flow with the music, and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky. When one person realizes and lets the other lead, both bodies begin to flow with the music. One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back or by pressing lightly in one direction or another. It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully. The dance takes surrender, willingness, and attentiveness from one person and gentle guidance and skill from the other. My eyes drew back to the word GUIDANCE. When I saw "G", I thought of God, followed by "u" and "i". "God, "u" and "i" dance." God, you, and I dance. This statement is what guidance means to me. As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust that I would get guidance about my life. Once again, I became willing to let God lead. My prayer for you is that God's blessings and mercies be upon you and your family on this day and everyday. May you abide in Him as He abides in you. Dance together with God, trusting Him to lead and to guide you through each season of your life.
UNDER FIRE Lord, I know the battle is not mine It's Yours to fight, I know But I feel under fire just the same Wrestling with the demons in my brain, In others' judgment, in my feelings Being scratched and clawed and pounded And Lord, it hurts so very much Sometimes; often, lately Those demons whisper to me They say "give up, stop trying, you cannot win" And sometimes I think they're right But there's a difference between thinking and knowing And I know I cannot stop I will not cause my own failure And I don't want to let You down There are others who believe in me, they say Though at times their behavior betrays it I want to succeed for them, too But mostly for You and myself Lord, I don't know what to do Except lay myself bare at Your feet And ask You for Your mercy, Your strength, Your guidance and Your peace I'll lift my head up now, thought the effort is extreme And I'll trust You to get me through this day Whatever it may bring. Martha Jo
DEPRESSION Depression is not just the blues. It is a medical condition that affects the brain and body. It can cause emotional symptoms like a down mood that just won't go away. It can cause physical symptoms like having no get up and go. It can cause you to lose interest in all your daily activities, and even to stay away from your friends and family. Other problems from depression can be:
Low grade depression (called dysthymia) is a clinical condition where therapy and sometimes medical are required to treat it. Heredity, patters of thinking, and suppressed pain are some of the causes. A more serious depression may be episodic or chronic. In addition to the above features, possible hallucinations (sensations i.e. touch, taste, hearing, sights, smells that have no basis in reality) or delusions (beliefs that have no basis in reality). Severe suicide attempts may be planned or carried out. Depression in the elderly is a special concern. Estimates on the prevalence of depression among the elderly vary from 10 percent up to 65 percent. The reason for this wide range is that many of those who have the disorder are misdiagnosed with other illnesses. Many other elderly who have depression are not diagnosed at all. Because they accept their symptoms as an inevitable part of aging, no help is sought. Another concern is the elderly's generational resistance to the idea of emotional illness and the benefits of seeking help. Many are sufficiently embarrassed by what they consider to be the stigma of mental illness and the shame of their symptoms that they are unwilling or unable to discuss their feelings with a professional. Still others are discouraged from seeking treatment because of financial constraints. If you think you or a family member may have depression, call a mental health counselor to help detect it. Fortunately, depression is a condition that responds well to treatment. However, it is important to seek treatment to prevent the condition from worsening. Antidepressant medications and counseling are popular treatments for depression. Some people respond well to counseling, others to medication, and a combination of both is often the most effective. Call Ephesians today to receive a free depression screening that will take you just a few minutes. Take the first step to feeling better soon! He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. Psalm 147:3 Be humble under God's powerful hand so He will lift you up when the right time comes. Give all your worries to Him, because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7
THE SERENITY PRAYER Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot
change; Reinhold Niebuhr Ephesians Life
Ministries, Inc. |
